Now Rat-face was a cockroach
and he had just one desire
Which filled his heart with longing
and filled his eyes with fire.
For forty years, come lightning,
come snow or wind or rain,
He’d crawl up Grandma’s standpipe
and sing this fond refrain:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner get there by-and-by.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
Well Rat-face saved his money
and borrowed from his fence,
And slowly he collected
nearly thirty-seven cents.
He’d count it every evening
in his shabby roach-motel
And underneath his window
you could hear that Rat-face yell:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner get there if I try.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
His momma told him, “Rat-face,
Take a long vacation, boy.
There’s cake-crumbs to be eaten,
There’s stove-grease to enjoy.
You’ll perk-up mighty nicely
with a week or so in bed.”
But Rat-face crossed his feelers,
and to his Ma he said:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Have to steal or have to lie.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’fore I die!”
He’d hang-out by the dumpsters
and serenade the rats.
He’d buttonhole the pigeons,
and whine to alley cats.
For anyone who’d listen
to Rat-face for so long,
He’d limber-up his Blue’s Harp
and blow this sad, sad song:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner get there wet or dry.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
People often stepped on Rat-face
with a satisfying crunch.
They maced him in his basement;
put poison in his lunch.
But Rat-face went on limping
to his lumpy bed at night.
The words he weakly whispered
made his beady eye-balls bright:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Have to freeze or have to fry.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
His alderman, his bookie,
and his precinct captain all
Suggested they could juggle
him a job at City hall:
“The payroll’s made up special
for a roach like you!” they said.
But Rat-face sipped his Falstaff
and slowly shook his head:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Maybe August or July.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
One day, although his prospects
had appeared extremely dark,
Rat-face hit a long-shot
on a race at Sportsman’s Park.
He counted up his winnings
and he stammered in delight
That now his life’s ambition
had come within his sight:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner wear my suit and tie.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
He sold his Timex wristwatch;
he pawned his Sears guitar.
He rented-out his hotplate
and broke his money-jar.
He stomped off to the station--
his fortune in his coat--
And paid it to the agent
and gave a Rat-face gloat:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Don’t need no transfer, I.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
The agent raised his eyebrows,
ran his fingers through his hair:
“Yer outta luck there, Rat-face,
CTA just raised the fare.”
Now Rat-face stumbled backwards--
as his heart had turned to rock;
He left the station mumbling
very softly in his shock:
“Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner beg or sing or cry.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
Some say that Rat-face vanished,
and others say he’s dead.
But once I asked my Grandma,
and this is what she said:
“If you ever ride the Howard
when the cars all sway and creak
And you listen very closely,
you can hear the floorboards speak:
`Gonner take the El to Jarvis,
Gonner get there by-and-by.
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die, ’fore I die,
Gonner take the El to Jarvis
’Fore I die!”
